I’ve been Catholic long enough now to have seen people come and go. Whenever I notice someone struggling or drifting away, I often invite them to talk about it and challenge them on what’s going on. That is, after all, our responsibility.
Accountability belongs not only to the clergy but to all of us. At baptism and confirmation, we make promises to the Church, and the community is meant to support us in keeping them. I have always taken that seriously and have often sat down with people trying to work through difficulties in their faith.
With men especially, when one foot is already out the door, their complaints are usually framed as intellectual. They question God’s existence, the credibility of Scripture, or the failures of history. Yet I rarely find these objections compelling or new. Typically, after conversation, the exchange ends with, “Ya, I guess,” or, “We’ll just have to agree to disagree.” What this really means is: “I have no further objections, but I remain dissatisfied and plan to leave.”
At that point, I want to ask: “What would convince you?” If you frame your doubt as intellectual and the rational solutions do not satisfy you, then the issue is no longer intellectual but something deeper.
